With all this German surrounding me I can't help but find myself beginning to loose some of my English. It's not a bad thing, it's just frustrating because as I'm loosing English I haven't really been gaining German to take it's place. I'm starting to feel like I don't have a language anymore. Sure I can speak English, and a little very broken German, but neither really feels like it's mine. More that it's just a passing tool in communication with the world around me. I'm not sure if that made any sense but I can't better explain it than that.
This wouldn't be such a big deal if it wasn't for the aching fact that I'm a writer, and what do writers do best? They write. Not having a language that I can control and mold to my story is really starting to take it's toll on me. That constant itch to write is coming back stronger than ever and as I haven't really a language I'm finding it difficult to scratch that itch.
Not to mention that as I've been told time and time again, it's difficult to be learning a language and still using your native tongue so much. I don't want to be making it harder for myself...but I have to write.